Furscape MUCK

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Note: **The Weekly Comet is an in-character tabloid press created by Flame.** The following archives are posted for reference, and date back to some the earlier days of the MUCK. In-character information found here should first be verified with the staff, just in case some details are out of date. As always, a sense of humor is advised when reading The Comet.


======The Weekly Comet - issue 6 (Holiday Edition)======
Best wishes for a Merry Christmas, Hannuka, or whatever else you celebrate. - The Comet Staff. 

=====Martian Candy Recalled from Stores=====
Sweet, bite-sized sensations known as 'Ladi-Lumpz' has been recalled from grocery shelves across Mars during the busy holiday-grocery shopping rush. The reasoning? Apparently several candy-consumers have reported strange side-affects after chowing down. Penelope Blackfur, 32, of Amundsen told Comet reporters: "I ate a bag of 'Lumpz, and hours later, I could feel small rounded objects swelling up beneath my skin-it was terrifying; I thought I had some crazy nano-virus tumor!" Blackfur claims that a physician took a biopsy and found that the lumps beneath her fur to be nothing more than extraneous lipid deposits-and yet, because so many other furs have reported unusual swellings, particularly around the hips and thighs, after consuming Ladi-lumpz, the candy is being taken out of circulation for further testing.

=====No Coal in InterCore's Stockings=====

CEO Rostislav Ansgar was spotted yesterday at a Vixen's Secret counter in Cephalon. The calculating coyote allegedly dropped over 500 credits as her purchased hosiery and other lingerie items. This puts a unique spin on the recent rumors that his marriage has hit a rocky patch-was everything in the bag for his wife? Or does Mr. Ansgar have an under-radar mistress? Stay tuned ...

=====11249 year-old Santa-paws Cyborg lives on comet======

A group of amateur astronomers based out of Sol claim that they have discovered a 11249year old Cyborg who calls himself Santa-paws living on a comet that is currently en route to the Oort Cloud. Contact was made with the Cyborg over an encrypted com channel where the Cyborg communicated in broken standard-English-no word on whether any elves were present. The astronomers now have plans to petition the Lunar Council for a search and rescue mission.

=====Lighting up Port Annakis, Griswold-style=====

How many high-ranking furs does it take to screw in a light bulb? Better yet, how many does it take to trim a cottage from chimney to doorstep in holiday glitz? Last weekend, Comet reporters snapped a photo of Chancellor Thorsson and several security officers hanging outdoor lights around the home of the Chancellor's rumored-to-be-maybe-more-than-girlfriend, Dr. Snow Trevelyan. According to the anonymous Comet reporter, everyone in the yard seemed to be in good spirits, even after a few close calls with the tack-gun and ladder. The Chancellor's publicist has declined to comment.

=====Mistletoe Conspiracy=====

Why do we kiss under the mistletoe? According to a group of researchers on 213 Mathilde, the mistletoe plant might emit high-frequency energy beams that cause the parts of the brain responsible for controlling libido to go into over-drive. The Lunar Science Council refutes this claim, naturally, but we at the Comet do hope that during this holiday season, you and a good kissing partner will be able to see for yourselves.


======The Weekly Comet - issue 9======

=====Witches Brew=====
Some witches are working on a potion against Zirik Dagokai. More than 5000 of these so-called 'Witches of the Martian Covenant' and their supporters have signed a petition demanding that the CEO/head of state recognize Earth-derived witch craft and other forms of occult devotion "as a true and valid religion as defined by national law." If he doesn't, they say, they'll file a civil-rights suit-wait, Mars and civil rights? Did we miss something? In related news, the meditating boy that has captured the attention of the Kemetic Church in Epiphyte has mysteriously disappeared. The Ghueri are organizing a search of the city and nearby desert-after all, even if he is the next Kemetic Dali-lama or Set-Osiris, wandering around during sandstorm season probably isn't the best spiritual move.

=====Psycho Desert Hare Stalks Lopangan Leader and Family=====

Lopangan Secretary of State, Paris, has buffed up security around her home in recent months due to a stalker, but it looks as though she can fear no more. Larry Wiggins, 42, of the Warren, was taken into custody yesterday by port authorities on the Green Lioness, as he made an attempt to physically contact Paris and her daughter. Officials found Wiggins unarmed, but carrying two vials of scratch and a notebook of photos taken of the secretary and her family. The Secretary's publicist has yet to issue a statement.

=====Laughing Lotion=====

A launch for a new cosmetic boutique in Cephalon the other day went over with more smoothness and moisture than previously thought possible. But before you get the wrong idea, we'll clarify. UlaUrchin's elixiar of beauty, which is said to provide fur with a glossy finish and extra solar protection, has a quirk to it that wasn't worked out in the final rounds of lab testing: that is, anyfur who wears it will find themselves unable to control their laughter as the sea kelp extract causes some sensory overload to the nerves right beneath the skin. As a result, customers, who included First Lady Elizabeth Delacriox, and debutante, Nadya Ansgar, found themselves shrieking with uncontrollable laughter minutes after applying the tester of cream to their paws.

=====Fraternizing with the Enemy=====

And also on Oceania, during the on-going Marti-Paws season in the tropics, 7th Wave/Lopangan Navy leader, Pandora Ceridwyn, was spotted enjoying ice cream with a member of the Iridian Fleet, Capt. Scott LeBark, 33, of Nevan Is. Besides the extra sprinkles though, nothing else looked particularly scandalous, as the two reportedly discussed wind-surfing in lieu of space raids. Neither party would comment to our reporter unfortunately.

=====Inarian De-briefing=====

Chancellor Thorsson's press office sure is busy these days, but the latest breaking story actually concerns his favored successor, the Moderate candidate, Daniel Rexus. Rexus it seems has gotten himself in a bit of trouble with a female public safety staffur, Monica Kenneth, 23, who alleges that Rexus groped her buttocks while the two were alone in his office. Neither party is commenting to the press at this time, however. In other news, Chancellor Thorsson was spotted out on a fishing trip yesterday with his Intelligence Minister Devik Wolf, and Mr. Rexus both in tow. Afterwards the three reportedly made their rounds in the VIP room at Malty's pub. No word on whether or not this was an impromptu bachelor party for Hagalaz.


======The Weekly Comet - issue 10, Special anniversary edition======

=====Teacher's hand blown off by paperweight=====
Iridia University, Cephalon -- An archaeology class witnessed an accident of rare and terrible proportions. Dr. Hank Leon, 56, professor of Ancient Terran Civilization, was using an old 40mm round as a paperweight during a demonstration. Found at an antiquities fair, he assumed the explosives to be long-decayed and therefore, harmless for all intents and purposes. Unfortunately, the round was live and when he accidentally dropped a book on top of a desk, the round went off and cost him his right hand-paw and also second degree burns on the arm. Dr. Leon is being treated at Memorial Hospital. According to trauma specialist Dr. Tash Olne, "The prognosis on his (prosthetic) hand and burns is looking fine." No one else attending the lecture was injured. The Cephalon Archaeological society has generously offered to pay for the damage to the room.

=====Little green men on Jalan=====

Maybe not green, but furry critters have caught the eyes of a research team that is currently exploring the tropical forests of Zakirtugeka (aka New Z-land). According to the latest reports, scientists have found a sub-species of Flavians, the planet's native flying animals. "We called them Zakiflavs for now," a researcher anonymously told our paper via satellite radio. "It seems that we aren't just studying them, they're also studying us. They pick up our language and some are actually talking back to us." Is this the discovery of a new intelligence or is it just mad scientist blowing off steam? Stay tuned as we find out more for you!

=====Martian Burglar Masseuse=====

Last night a burglar broke into the condo of Annabel Croix, 34, of Amundsen. To comfort her and "relieve the stress of being burglarized" Croix tells Comet reporters that the masked fur who stole 1,000 credits in cash and 5,000cr in electronic equipment and jewelry from her home gave her a massage. "He told me not to be scared, after he finished (tying me up to a kitchen chair). That's when he started rubbing my shoulders and neck." Aside from the massage and the theft of personal property, Croix reports no other injuries. The suspect is still on the run from Martian police. The victim describes the burglar as a 'male canine with grayish fur.' If you have any information please call our hotline at: 099-BITE-CRIME

=====Luna Hospital Denies Right to Death=====

Thinking about signing a living will? You might have wished you'd done this already if you were Igor Avery, 84, of Felis Lane Retirement Community. Avery was taken to Canis General Luna after suffering a heart attack. As medics rushed him into emergency surgery, they were shocked to discover that the patient's belly was shaved and tattooed with the words: "Do not resuscitate." However, Dr. Vivienne Tuna found herself with no other choice. Unless the patient has made his requests legal, the hospital cannot simply let you die. Avery has recovered from surgery and is in stable condition.

=====Having an Electoral Ball! (Xtra!)=====

"Arise, loyal one, forgiven." With these words, the outgoing Chancellor of the Annyrion Coalition received from his successor, Daniel Rexus, the traditional pardon for "any crimes that may have been committed while in office". While it is unclear as to whether or not Chancellor Thorsson actually committed any crimes, and while the pardon itself is largely ceremonial, it does carry full weight in a court of law. After a few closing remarks from the now-former Chancellor Thorsson and his Intelligence Minister, Devik Wolff, Daniel Rexus was sworn in as the new Chancellor of Inaria.

But we'll leave INN to bore you with those details as we report the more important stuff: e.g. the electoral ball and subsequent happenings as Annyrion City erupted into party-central. Traffic flow was restricted to emergency vehicles only throughout the metro-area as throngs of citizens gathered in the streets to celebrate the afternoon and enjoy the parades and traditional hover-car race. By sunset, Annyrion City Park was ready for the open-air Electoral gala that featured ice and laser sculptures from renowned artist, Chen Lemur. Bottomless drinks and a chocolate fountain were the favorites in the buffet, according to AC Lt. Delorean Shepard.

Even though many partygoers were content to dance the night away in the park, an even more select list of furs made their way to the Continental Hotel for the Coalition Officer's ball where Chancellor Rexus is rumored to have enjoyed a dance with his predecessor's fiancé, among many other lovely ladies - that's right - the leader of free Inaria is still single! (And in case some of you didn't catch the last episode of MountainTalks, the former Chancellor Thorsson has confirmed that the rumors are true: he and Dr. Trevelyan have been engaged since he proposed in December. See we knew all along!)

After the Officer's gala, the party circuit grew even smaller and more select between assorted penthouses, homes, and vip rooms. Here are some of the sightings:

7pm: Industry pioneer Unci, of uncia corp. acted as Jalan's goodwill ambassador in presenting the customary golden laurel to Chancellor Rexus

9pm: AC Councilfur, Tala, was snapped smooching an unidentified male lynx by the park gazebo.

10pm: Record-monger Meow_Tuna was spotted wiring a concert at the Cryptic Star with unidentified buxom female mink.

11pm: Lopangan Secretary of State, Paris, was seen assisting AC Special Agent Marshall with his boutonnière in front of Brusserio's Café.

Midnight: Frontman of the rock group Bat-Punk, Zarlyn, was arrested for drunk and disorderly conduct downtown.

1am: General Tanya Fantozi was seen leaving the Continental Hotel in a limo with InterCore's Ulrich Leichtenstein, who reportedly hosted a small gathering at his villa in the Kamikatan Mountains.

2am: Daniel Rexus and his newly appointed cabinet members enjoyed private dance entertainment from two feline starlets who just happened to jump out of a delivered cake. No word on who ordered it.

3am: The former Chancellor Thorsson was spotted leaving the festivities with his fiancé, likely in search of some real 'pax uncia' after 4 long, demanding years.  


======THE WEEKLY COMET - ISSUE 12======

=====InterCore VP watches marital stock plummet=====
Oceanian courts have now legalized one of the most high-profile divorce cases on the planet. Vice President of InterCore, Ulrich Wilhelm von Liechtenstein, 37, has divorced wife of 6 years, Annelise-Simone Dagmir, 34. Simone, as she's better known, is the debutante daughter of recently retired Martian corporate leader Westin Dagmir of Omicron Industries and Lapine Republic Chair-fur. According to our sources, the split was amicable-the Liechtenstein's had no children, and Ulrich willingly signed over the deed to their sprawling Amunsden mansion to his ex, where she and new lover Jean Redpaw have been living for the last 2 months. Liechtenstein himself continues to divide his time between his penthouse in Cephalon and mansion in the Upper Mrr Valley, Inaria-Annyrion. With one of known-space's wealthiest males on the prowl again, expect the rumor-mills to be churning over time! Last week Liechtenstein was spotted with in the company of several different ladies, notably AC General Tanya Fantozi and silver-screen siren, Spice La'Tigranbeau.

=====Thorsson denies running for office again=====

Hail to the chief - well, the former chief, in this case. With Chancellor Rexus's antics facing greater scruntiny, numerous political insiders have come forward, insisting that the former Chancellor Thorsson will run again for office. When the Coalition press secretary refused to comment, this only fueled more speculation as to what the pax-uncia-leader might be contemplating as his next move during "retirement." In related news, rumors fly right and left concerning the alleged date and location of the former chancellor's wedding to fiancé, Dr. Snow Trevelyan. One source, who supplied us with the snap shot of the couple leaving The Continental hotel over the weekend, insisted that Hagalaz is planning to elope locally in Annyrion City and then head to Oceania for a honeymoon. Other sources argue for Port Annakis … Stay tuned!

=====New IDF Fleet Admiral ruffles tails, feathers, fins=====

Prime Minister Delacroix shocked many yesterday when he announced the nomination of long-time 'underdog' captain of the Iridian Defensive Fleet, Scott Teirnan LeBark, for Fleet Admiral. LeBark, who is currently captain of the IDF Kraken, would take on duties aboard the IDF Big Kahuna, if his nomination passes with the military judiciary board. Delacroix insisted that LeBark would be a "solid replacement" for Admiral Hank Lupus, who was forced to retire early for medical reasons. While he keeps a low public profile otherwise, LeBark raised eyebrows last year for his vigilante capture of a narcotic-trader, and also for the photograph taken of him chatting casually to 7W/Lopangan Navy co-leader, Pandora Ceridwyn during a gun expo on Saludariiz Island.

=====Rabid Bunny Studios makes fans drool, or not?=====

Rabid Bunny Studios ex-exec Alyssa Mills has fired back at allegations that she neglected to pay studio hands right before the film enterprise started to go under. Furthermore, she also denied withholding the property taxes owed by the establishment to the rumored-to-be new buyer, Swank Productions. Further investigation is pending, but in the meantime, a mole snitches to us that Swank productions is looking to use its adult starlet's on set at Rabid Bunny Studios in order to attract new fans to its growing action-film circuit. In related news, sometime actress, exotic dancer known to Swank-fans as 'MM' has told Comet sources that she will not be in the upcoming film "Office Vixen Slaves II" due to "taking an extended personal leave." We'll keep you posted...

=====Comet Classifieds=====

(This print-by-demand section will consist of help wanted, for sale, and/or other announcements placed by our readers. If you would like to place an ad, just p #mail Flame with the text)

Wanted ->

Live-in female personal assistant. 70creds weekly w/ opportunities for bonus pay. No experience necessary; will train. Call 27212. (p #mail Spice)

Musicians/performers needed for upscale nightclub in Newport, Oceania. Inquire in person at Ray's Cabaret, located in the Bay Street Plaza.

For Sale ->
Newport, Oceania

*Private Estate, Oceanshore Blvd, beach front. 2-3 bedrooms + music Room. 25,000 creds.

Entertainment --->

Tired of the daily grind? Why not take a vacation today! Visit the Nevan Island Nexus on Oceania. Beach cabanas, boardwalks and more!

Cryptic Star - Drink specials, live entertainment, exotic dancers. West Annyrion City.