|Headline:||Primrose and Morphology Closed!|
|Location:||Epiphyte City, Lopanga|
The Primrose, an adult services parlor in downtown Epiphyte, was shut down Sunday night after an altercation between the proprietor and the authorities. The owner of Morphology, a beauty salon, was taken down in a coordinated move on charges of operating with an expired business license.
Businessman Vincent Mondello, who conincidentally made an unsuccessful attempt to purchase both establishments last week, agreed to speak with the Bulletin regarding the matter. “For years now the innocently-named Primrose has been peddling a dangerous combination of virtual reality, hallucinogenic drugs, and unprotected sex to their most vulnerable clients,” Mondello said. “Likewise, Morphology has been luring in customers with the promise of drastic makeovers and covering their shoddy work with the very same hallucinogens. I won't stand for this sort of influence on our community.”
Mondello then explained that he was in negotiations with the police to purchase both properties. He promised that while the Primrose's valued entertainment will soon resume, one or both locations would also be the site of “exciting new developments”.